My family and I live in the Cotswolds near Stroud. We have recently started a journey that is unfamiliar to me and my hubby. We took our daughter out of mainstream education when we could see it wasn't supporting her or working for us. Then we leaped feet first into Steiner education and were blessed to find a wonderful kindergarten that nurtured all of us.
For me, I really believe that my different birth journeys were part of the reason why I wanted to choose this path for our children. I was torn apart by the birth of my daughter. My daughter and I supported each other to put ourselves back together. It's amazing the healing being a parent can bring. Then for the birth of my son, I made the decision to not go through that again. My daughter had gifted me and her brother with the inside knowledge of feeling powerless. She allowed me to find my inner power and trust my instincts to birth her brother in the most beautiful way. Our whole family has a lot to thank her for.
Grief and trauma are all consuming, it touches every part of us and stays that big. As we move away from the traumatic event this grief doesn't shrink, we get bigger. Time moves away from the event and other events fill this space; other feelings consume us in the moment. Then we are triggered, something pops up that puts us back to that place of trauma. Often it will be linked to our senses, touch, sight, sound, smell, taste. And again, we are all consumed by the emotions that enveloped us as we lost ourselves in the trauma. This constant dance between our grief and our present day is exhausting. It feels impossible to concentrate on anything when once we were able to juggle many tasks. Your sense of self feels warped and we try to find pieces of ourselves as we manage our daily tasks.
What can we do to heal from this? It's small and constant work, being surrounded by those that can cope with our trauma and offer it love and patience, the same that is needed as a child is so important. Then there's exploring what works for you. Exploring those five senses that trigger you. You can work with those senses to support you also. #gloucestershiredoula #gloucestershirecounsellor #strouddoula #birthgiref #birthtrauma #postnataltrauma #breastfeedingtrauma #stillbirth #miscarriage Photo by @sineadisaacsphotography